I’m still lagging behind in university with the occasional ups and downs. Today the professor assistant asked if I was on track and let myself down twice by saying no. The first let down is because I hardly took time to study linear algebra, so I brought it onto myself that I couldn’t have improved. Derivatives and integrals caught me off guard. Second reason is because I said: “Sorry…”, and she replied with the obvious truth: “Well, it’s for yourself you have to do it.” It stings because she’s obviously right that she doesn’t have to care unless I prove myself. In the past, when showing poor grades, I have always felt like I disappointed the lecturers more than myself, if they were admirable. I guess that’ll never go away. Not that I want it to.
Mathematical insight and intuition doesn’t come easy in 5 months.
On a more positive note, I’ve been doing my daily chess tactic problems for 72 days straight on Chess Tempo. Every morning I do at least 3 problems, and do 3 more whenever I feel like taking a break throughout the day. Numbers vary of course. In the past I hardly had any idea what I was doing on the chessboard, so I decided to change that.
~803 —> ~1344 
Do mind, I still suck a lot, but a little less than 72 days ago. The times you’re only making mistakes make you feel like a half-wit, but the satisfaction when bouncing back is worth it. This quote from my friend certainly holds true: “The only thing you can do is to just keep going.” Simple but effective advice given when things looked bleak in university. The similarity with chess —and everything else— is striking, bad times don’t last and neither do good times. I’m certainly going to feel like a half-wit a lot more in my life. Hopefully topped off with the occasional delights.
So anyway, yesterday I realised my tactics problem solving has improved, but I still have no idea how to do one proper opening. So I’ve downloaded some engines to analyse openings. I’ll update on that when I’ve learned something new.
My ending point is; whatever you practice, it’s likely you’ll improve if you believe you can.
Science Recruit 